Tipsy Partner: Don't liiiiieeee to me; I'm just a small baby. It's a sin to lie to a _baby_…
Me, amused: Oh, yeah? Is that in the bible?
@blxckberrying: …
@blxckberrying: …
@blxckberrying: …
@blxckberrying: yes

@blxckberrying, a minute later: I don't understand why you need to be like this?
Partner, now wandering away: I'm perfectly rational and sober

@blxckberrying, whispering: I wanna watch gay stuff…
Partner, still whispering, to zir computer, without typing anything: YouTube, show me gay stuff

YouTube skit: If all of humanity were gay, humanity wouldn't reproduce
@blxckberrying: If all of humanity were gay, it would mean they'd…all be…human

@blxckberrying: Gay YouTube, show me your forbidden love…
Partner: Oh, can't watch that; I'm gonna cry

YouTube skit: I'm gay.
@blxckberrying: I'M gay!
Partner: I'm gay and girls are so great and soft and I love them.
Partner, to me: Do girls know that I love them? It's important.

Now ze's gone on for 10 minutes just detailing how much ze loves girls, tearfully

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