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(Orchiectomy - Day 3 - Bleeding) 

At this point bleeding has completely stopped, so no more pads. Honestly it was almost completely done yesterday, with some minor spots that might have just been tiny nicks from shaving around the surgical site.

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(Orchiectomy - Day 3 - Pain) 

This was an interesting change I wasn't expecting. The overall ache in the groin area is gone, but there is a more pronounced, localized pain. It feels a bit like tearing, such as when you slice your finger deeply and bending it causes the two halves to shift. Resting is way more comfy, but I do need to suck it up and keep moving now and then.

I have moved from opioids to Aleve, because it's really that minor. Also to encourage, erm, a movement. (Successfully.)

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The dad jokes will continue until morale improves

(Orchiectomy - Day 2 - Pain) 

The bandages came off today. Up until now I haven't really been able to identify what was going on under the gauze. It really not as gnarly as a I expected, just a little bruised.

So interestingly there's really no pain in the scrotal area. It's all in the groin, I believe from removal of the spermatic cord.

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(Orchiectomy - Day 1 - Surgery Prep) 

Almost forgot prep! I couldn't have metal in your body, so no jewelry. They were okay with non-metallic spacers, so I would advise ordering some well ahead of time. I used a plastic staple retainer in my septum and plastic earrings.

The night before and the morning of you need to shower and scrub the area down with antibacterial soap or Hibiclens.

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(Orchiectomy - Day 1 - Aftercare) 

I went home very gauzed up, with the incision glued shut. It should be 24-48hrs before I remove it. Then I can shower, but no baths.

You can ice if you'd like, 15 minutes on and 15 off, and it feels pretty nice.

There is some minor bleeding outside the bandages, which, well, thankfully I keep pads in the downstairs bathroom. (And tampons, spray deodorant, Q-tips, bandaids, floss, etc, all in a cute little basket. Would recommend.)

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(Orchiectomy - Day 1 - Pain Levels) 

Shortly after the anesthesia the pain did start pretty suddenly, very much on par with a kick to the balls. This did calm down on its own. They applied topical anesthetic during surgery, which will wear off.

With medication it aches pretty much on par with post-workout muscle soreness. But like a real intense workout. I can pretty comfortably lie down, ever so slightly less comfortably lie on my side, and walking and standing are also okay.

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(Orchiectomy - Day 1 - Medication) 

I had to stop all of my medication on various schedules.

Some I had to stop for a month.
2 weeks for progesterone.
Skip my estrogen shot the Saturday before.
1 week for supplements.
No ADHD meds on the day (I mean, obviously.)
I could continue PrEP and antidepressants.

I was prescribed Tylenol with codeine for pain management, 60 tablets in total, or the clearly much more useful metric of 30 tablets per ball.

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(Orchiectomy - Day 1 - Timing) 

Mine was scheduled for 11:30AM on Thursday, and I took both that day and Friday off to recover. We arrived at 9:30AM at the request of the surgical center, but due to delays we didn't get rolling until 12:40 or so. I awoke at 2:15PM, and was completely lucid in 10 minutes or so. I was released to my driver at about 2:45 and by this point I was famished.

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For the sake of anyone that has questions or is interested in the actual experience, I'mma write up a long thread of the actual orchiectomy process & aftercare

Alexis :heart_pan: boosted

This is actually a Lesser British Bake Off you can tell by the muted plumage and smaller ridges along the dorsal crest

Alexis :heart_pan: boosted

A kid came to my wife's school with a big bag of breadsticks and a teacher called to tell her about it. She wondered what he could possibly be doing that warranted a phone call. They said "well, he's *really* eating them."

Alright, I guess it's time to workshop replacements for "suck my nuts."

"Suck my stark she-scrotum."

"Lick my lacking lady leg luggage."

Just wearing a crop top Star Wars as I unlock a small display case full sex toys, still new in their boxes because otherwise they'd depreciate in value, before grabbing one to dance with.

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Erotically blow on a Nintendo cartridge while bent over, popping my booty as I pop it into the slot.

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Seal a Cheetos bag full of orange glitter and pop it on stage, all over my chest hair merkin.

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I've decided if I ever do drag I'll adopt the persona of Masculein Toxique.

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Queer Town

A lil' town for me and maybe some friends in the future.