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I've started blocking the accounts for ads I get on Instagram. It's been fun watching the pool dry up and get progressively weirder. I'm now getting ones for dentists... in Kuwait.

I gotta start inviting people over to play strip Knights of Easthollow.

My office started stocking these probiotic sodas. I tried the Fruit Punch one. It had all of the health benefits of kale, but with all the delicious flavor of kale.

Is there seriously a season of Flash where Barry Allen's mom's dad is Barry Allen? I swear to god this fucking show...

In Beta you can't catch any Pokemon, but in Sigma you just *choose* not to because why waste money on Pokeballs when your Bored Primape Surf Club NFTs are only going to appreciate in value.

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So fucking psyched for the release of Pokemon: Brilliant Beta & Pokemon: Shining Sigma

I joined an erotic book club, and I like to write down in my to-do list where I started reading that day so I can jot it all cute in my journal later. But I can never remember what the book itself is actually called, so the history on my todo list just looks like...

[✔️] Horny - 0%
[✔️] Horny - 13%
[✔️] Horny - 15%
[✔️] Horny - 23%
[✔️] Horny - 35%
[ ] Horny - 42%

Ugh. When you spend an hour taking what you hoped were cute selfies but all you see is a potato made of flesh.

Still more Friday lewd 

The most frustrating part of being pansexual is the language. Like, yes I could say "man, woman, both or neither." And yes I could say "penis, vagina, or combination of the two." That would also better express my preferences as someone that tends to lean 80/20 sapphic.

But it just doesn't roll off the tongue as well as "let mommy stroke your cock while she calls you a good boy."

I don't know where all this Friday horny is coming from, but fuck it I'mma roll with it. I'm now honestly wondering if I can find a quiet corner of the office where I can take cheesecake pics on our weird-ass furniture.

Lewd 

Is there a term for fellatio-induced aphasia? Because it's happened before and I sure as hell hope I get a chance to pull it off again. Honestly I should update my dating profile with an FDA warning.

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Lewd 

God I miss having a dick around whose owner I could suck right into a coma.

Well, I've finally hit that point in my life where I'm collecting pages of angry, gay lyrics. Guess I gotta' learn acoustic guitar so I can have something to yell them over.

To make folks who come back to the office more comfortable, I'm going to talk at a point in space a foot away from their face.

Now if I could just find someone to make a set of drop earrings with my name on one and "Rec (🔴)" on the other...

I legit would like to see a long term sociological experiment where twins are separated at birth and one is raised on Star Trek/Wars and the other is raised on Lexx. I do *not* care how unethical this is, either from a child care perspective or from the perspective of the creepy insect-themed sex-murders one twin will inevitably be found responsible for.

She's a 10, but her favorite sci-fi series is Lexx.

Do you have an outfit that just looks terrible but you like it because it's so dang comfy? I mean the dried mustard yellow of this dress, with a floral motif in this awful, blue-ish white... but it's so breezy and perfect for the Texas heat.

Well I wasn't expecting to ever hear the phrase "he is completely ensconced in the little cavern of your man flesh" in a non-erotic context, but damn is this podcast pulling no stops.

The whole thing makes me want to try again, though. A bunch of folks at work expressed interest, and that'd be super fun. I also kind of feel like I could be a good DM? If the dysphoria doesn't kill me, I'd have a lot of fun doing voices and trying to use my full range.

I'm already scheming up centering phrases to warm up the pipes and switch from femme to masc voice.

"Um, hi, yes, could I please get the boar chicharron tacos?"

"Well actually, you're supposed to stab with the pointy end."

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Queer Town

A lil' town for me and maybe some friends in the future.