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*left titty pops out*
*shortens left strap*
*right titty pops out*
Goddamit, motherfucker...

Do y'all ever get the sneaking suspicion that god only has like 30 NPC models and doesn't expect us to notice when they reuse them on different levels?

Lewd philosophizing 

I think one of the scariest things about good sex, like absolutely earth shattering, ego death inducing, perfect mental and physical synchrony sex, is the possibility that you may not have it again.

If you're a person with a septum piercing who struggles to open clickers, holy crap can I not recommend a pair of "ring opening pliers" enough. They're basically reverse pliers, where pressing the handles causes them to open, so you can put them in the ring, gently squeeze, and *pop*!

This glorious country, where the grocery stores blast "America The Beautiful" so loud it makes your teeth chatter, barely drowning out the guy pushing a sound system around in his cart so he doesn't have to take a break from listening to Metallica. Where you have to carefully look both ways as you exit the aisle, due to folks running at a full sprint, their baskets spilling over with alcohol.

My date told me she felt like she was making out with a Suicide Girl, which may be the nicest compliment anyone has ever given me

When you're going on your tenth date but somehow still have first date jitters

Is this ones of those concepts that can't truly translate? Is it like hyggelig or verschlimmbessern?

Or is the implicit understanding also a subtle detail of language? It almost feels tonal, like something out of Mandarin. Perhaps if the "so" had been a falling tone sò instead of a rising-falling sô my entire world would be turned to ash.

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Notes From The Femme Field:
There is a bizarre compliment that still feels like it shouldn't be one:
Those pants looks so comfortable.

I said it myself yesterday. (The flat, business-like waist, the split sides, the soft, wrinkle-resistant fabric. My god I needed them.)

I got it myself this morning. (A paper bag pair, with the big bow belt that looks cute with a tucked shirt. The velvety soft fabric.)

There's tones that aren't captured, the implicit understand they aren't just comfy but cute.

Notes From The Femme Field:
Have still not acclimated to conversing with complete strangers in a bathroom. There is still the definite sense of panic that my voice will be betray me to the Wong Kind Of Person. But largely it's due to straight male culture requiring men who conversed in a bathroom to then fight to death so there'd be no witnesses to admit to their Depravity.

One real fun way to get to know a friend is having them share their gay makeout playlists with you. Like, hon, this is a *lot* of trip hop. Are you okay?

Oh, god, no sorry, you must have misunderstood. Signing up for paperless billing means you have no paper at home, which is why we helpfully print you a whole ream.

I have the sound off on my browser by default, which means I've heard *of* My Money Don't Jiggle Jiggle, It Folds, but not the audio itself...

God am I disappointed.

So uh... I got the thing done, what where they shoot you in the eye with laser beams? Like literally had a consult Wednesday, lasers Thursday, and I'm back up and running today.

It's so weird having two decades of muscle memory just... suddenly be irrelevant. The very first day you have to put in eye drops every 15 minutes and I kept panicking, every time, because I couldn't find my glasses afterwards.

US Pol, Gallows Humor 

First they came for the Communists
And I spoke out
Because I was like, "hey, could we also come for the Socialists and the trade unionists and the Jews next, but not me after though, right? We're good?"

If you're a tattoo artist that's interested in moving to Canada, hit me up.

I don't have any resources or connections there or anything, but statistically every artist whose style I fall for ends up booking it to Quebec or Toronto.

"The people of Sapphica have traditionally been uninvolved in matters regarding the global hung top supply, as we long ago transitioned to strap-based sources. Due to the critical shortages in our ally nation of Acchiles, we are proposing to begin exporting 2% of our butchest tops as well as 6% of our excess harness supplies. In exchange we hope to see a 3% tariff reduction in moving van exports from our neighboring nations, as well as clarification as to whether or not we are, in fact, dating."

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The company LGBT group meets for lunch every two weeks, but it can be awkward spotting which table we're actually at. I bought some little tabletop flag stands, so we can be easier to spot.

I have yet to figure out if I just want to use inclusive rainbow flags, or if I want to try and get mini flags for every different identity so we can look like a meeting of the Gay Model UN.

I legitimately worry that the more time I spend alone the more my slang descends backwards in time.

I mean forget not reading as the cute pastel goth I am in real life over text. I'll be lucky if I get read as someone's great grand meemaw, who somehow survived to 134 just to spite the Kaiser.

Okay, it's getting damn hard telling what's real articles from the sex- and kink-positive queer blogs I follow and what's ads for IT companies being inserted between them.

"10 reasons why you should try full service ownership!"

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Queer Town

A lil' town for me and maybe some friends in the future.