I was in session 0 for a new DnD group, and of lord almighty am I not sure if I want to keep going.

There were two friends co-DMing, which means this might be the first game of DnD ever where even the DM was distracted on their phone and had no idea what was going on. Descriptions were inconsistent, so we could never figure out where we were, if it was out on the water or on a shored boat or... Characters were all sarcastic and malicious, so it was hard to actually find the plot thread.

We spent a solid forty five minutes trying to get our inn keepers to give us food, because we were told it'd be provided. On top of that they were so coy and mysterious that we tried every manner of question and check to see what their deal was, to no avail. (Though we found out later they'd prepared a giant subplot for them, even though they kept playing coy.)

But also, I made some Bad MIstakes. One thing I wasn't aware of, hanging in mostly queer & trans spaces, was the sheer amount of anxiety I have around groups of all cis women. It's like a combo of impostor syndrome combined with anxiety about interrupting someone, *which makes role playing and improve real hard.* Tack on the mistake that I made a character that's distrustful of strangers, and who therefor had no *reason* to talk to these coworkers she'd never met doing an odd job...

(Some of these things could have been alleviated by the DMs, as I've learned later. Like, introduce us a party instead of strangers. Introduce us in a setting instead of an empty barge. Have a 3rd party introduce us, instead of having the company rep being coy, malicious, disinterested and sarcastic. Introduce us at all, instead of us just plopping us down and saying "now go!")


The whole thing makes me want to try again, though. A bunch of folks at work expressed interest, and that'd be super fun. I also kind of feel like I could be a good DM? If the dysphoria doesn't kill me, I'd have a lot of fun doing voices and trying to use my full range.

I'm already scheming up centering phrases to warm up the pipes and switch from femme to masc voice.

"Um, hi, yes, could I please get the boar chicharron tacos?"

"Well actually, you're supposed to stab with the pointy end."

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@OhHeyItsAlexis YMMV, but I find that it doesn't hit my dysphoria when I'm distinctly "doing a voice", so long as I return to something I'm happy with when I'm not in-character. If anything, it's kind of liberating and fun to play with that in a safe way.

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Queer Town

A lil' town for me and maybe some friends in the future.