What I'm saying here is that my new perspective is that all y'all motherfuckers suck at dating.

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I figured that, what with the panini, it might be worth getting on dating apps just to get see what things are like, even if it'll probably be a while before I even could get involved again.

It's very interesting what changes in perspective you get dating as a man vs as a woman.

As a queer man you had to constantly pursue, ask questions, force folks to talk to you.

As a queer woman you have to constantly pursue, ask questions, force folks to talk to you.

So a quick hop onto the internet later and I realize there's a special edition jumbo sized one. Clearly this must be what I had accidentally purchased, right?

Oh, so wrong.

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I didn't want her to go without her favorite, but there's no way in hell I'm giving him up. But I found him in a store years ago, and didn't have many details. So I jumped on their site, found the biggest one in her favorite color, and... well it was a little disappointing.

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I have a little post-breakup story for you kids.

My ex had essentially adopted one of my stuffies, and cuddled him every night. Understandably, as they were the perfect snuggling size. This is him.

In hindsight this toot just makes our other incompatibility so obvious, which is that I deal with grief through comedy and she deals with it through grieving.

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My relationship had a good run. Nearly 3 years and most of them were fun, but we both came out of it different, incompatible people.

But in the end she couldn't be with someone that enjoys spaghetti squash and I couldn't be someone that hates escape rooms.

"God, I want to put my fingers in your mouth."

Well I assume he must still mean as friends...

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"Are all those things you mentioned really things you're interested in."


"Would you like to come over and make those fantasies real?"

Sure! I'll bring my laptop and you can proofread.

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I think isolation, mostly the decade I spent not dating not even the panini, has made me completely impervious to flirting.

Weirdly it doesn't even seem like up with my own libido, like the engine's revving but the tires are in the mud.

Here is a still photo from this morning, in case video on Mastodon is still a crapshoot, though the streak is a bit more diffuse.

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I have really not been keeping y'all posted on my nail painting journey. I did these last night, with the theme "aurora borealis." It's a magnetic green jelly polish, with snowy mountains stamped on the center two nails. The magnetic stripe is high up and flat on those center ones, so it wiggles up and down as your nails shift, while still staying up the in the sky.

Alexis :heart_pan: boosted

let me make sure I get this straight.

you want me to go to a dinner party.

the thing that killed jesus

thanks but no

Alexis :heart_pan: boosted

The terrible jokes will continue until morale improves

Tried a new recipe tonight!
Sadly tasting them will have to wait until morning.

Alexis :heart_pan: boosted

hardening mastodon against scraping 

fellow masto instance admins of the fediverse:

by default, mastodon is leaky as fuck and there are a bunch of ways that data can be scraped and indexed from a mastodon instance

there are a few steps you can take to harden your instance against this; since there's an ongoing harassment campaign against trans masto users, now is a good time to review this

the following is not exhaustive, but it's a good start

1. Enable 'Secure Mode' on your instance. Without secure mode turned on, any of the activitypub endpoints of your instance can be scraped without http authentication -- this includes user profiles and users' public posts. This makes it ***absolutely trivial*** for a scripter to scrape all of the profiles of your instance denizens and look for keywords.

From the mastodon docs: 'When secure mode is enabled, all GET requests require HTTP signatures as well.'

It's insane to me that this isn't enabled by default. To enable it, see the 'AUTHORIZED_FETCH' parameter here: docs.joinmastodon.org/admin/co

This makes it more complicated to scrape, since scraping traffic now has to come from an instance that uses http signatures, and not just from some random asshole's computer.

2. Toggle some config options in preferences => administration => site settings. Here you can turn off the profile directory, disallow unauthenticated access to public pages, etc. See the screenshot below this post for the settings I use. You can make up your own mind about how strict you want to be here, but I think turning off the profile directory and the public timeline is a great idea.

3. Recommend your users disable DMs from people they don't follow. This is under preferences => notifications.

Any stuff I've missed, stuff you'd like to add, feel free to reply to this post.

Thanks for reading!

Alexis :heart_pan: boosted

fediblock transphobia (slur and sui warning in username) 

tranny_kys has an account on pawoo.net that doesn't seem to be active yet, pre-emptive block suggested.

(reposted with new cw)


Food, cookies 

Continuing my newfound habit of having homemade cookies around. This time I made black raspberry jammy dodgers.

I had the oddest experience today...

*ring ring*
"Hello, is this Alexis?"
"Yes, this is her."
"Great! We're looking for [deadname]. Is he available?"

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Queer Town

A lil' town for me and maybe some friends in the future.